In The News

I'm back bitches! I took a week off to rest, now I'm back to my old tricks. Here is what is in the news for today:

- In Florida, teens are prosecuted for sending nude photos of themselves and now they are labeled as sex offenders. I for one am shocked by this. They shouldn't be punished and labeled as sex offenders because one day they will grow up to be our future Senators.

- In New York, a man is killed after he climbed on top of a train and started to "surf" it. The passengers aboard the train believe his last words were "AHHHHHHHHH!"

- One of the world oldest mysteries has been solved. After 3,000 years, scientist finally figured out how King Tut died. They believe he fell off a fast moving chariot while hunting. Wow. That's it? This is officially the world's most oldest, lamest mysteries ever solved.

- In Sweden, four people are facing charges after they tired to sneak in cocaine in special postcards from Peru. Seriously, how to fuck do you sneak cocaine in postcards? Just when you thought it was safe to send granny a postcard comes this.

- Recently Skype announced to produce a brand new phone that will revolutionize the mobile industry, they are calling the new phone the White Phone. Trust me on this one, this probably will be a hot item come this holiday. White supremacists can finally rejoice in a phone that fits their everyday expression, white power.