In The News

Here is what is in the news for today:

- In Oregon, a decision has been made to remove a fire hydrant painted like the American flag after criticism because they believe dogs would urinate on them. Another example of great tax payer spending. Couldn't they just paint the hydrant saving thousands of dollars and possibly future homes? IDIOTS!

- In Arizona, a thief somehow stole almost 350 bras from a Victoria's Secret shop without being noticed. Somewhere right now, a man is floating to brazier heaven.

- China has banned all female "sexually provocative sounds" on television for a major Communist Party meeting next month. Whenever a sexual sound will be played, it will be replaced either with "long live China," "long live Communism," or "Our toys are lead-free, YOU BUY NOW!"

- A photograph of Kazakh President Nursultan Nazarbayev in tight swimming trunks caused an outrage in the parliament of the former Soviet State. The controversy, they were too tight.

- Thousands of Austrian football fans are signing a petition to ban their team from attending the Euro 2008 tournament after poor performances. Oh SNAP! You know it's bad when the American Soccer team has more support than a team from their own home country.