In The News

Here is what is in the news for today:

- A mayor in California is calling out all the grandmas to help fight gangs. He believes if grandmas hand out cookies and tell stories about themselves when they were young it will bring a power strong enough to drive off the criminals. In reality, it will drive off anyone who is young.

- A man in Virginia watched as his house was consumed in a blaze after an explosion occurred in the garage where he was making his own fireworks. When he was asked about the whole incident, he said he wanted to dazzle everyone while his house burned.

- At Cape Canaveral in Florida, NASA became more closer to liftoff its space shuttle Endeavour while hanging a misspelled banner reading "Go Endeavor!" You now know that the American education is at its lowest point when you have people who can't spell work for NASA.

- A German bus driver almost kicked off a 20-year-old sales clerk because she was dressed too sexy and he couldn't focus driving. He responded by saying that he wasn't gay and that he has a hard time focusing while having an erection. Don't we all ;)

- Recently about 2 Billion rats invaded a city in China causing horrendous amounts of damage. In other news, restaurants in China are booming with business with a new slogan "all you can eat mysterious meat."